Hey loves, its Krissy. If you are a new viewer WELCOME! I know I haven’t been the best of myself and of a blogger for you guys. 2016 really made me aware of who I was, who I had become, and who were they people I was surrounded by. I don’t like it no more than you would if you really knew the truth.
School always has me on the up and up, because I want to be great at what I’m studying, and the fear of being a disappointment to myself or my family is BIG. I’m the last and the only girl of my family, and sometimes I feel pressured, not to be someone I’m not, but to NOT fully BE MYSELF. Last year was one of the best college years I’ve had so far. My grades were good, I made friends, and most of them are nice, positive people (for the most part anyways). I did good, but like any other girl, I met a boy, and it ruined the barrier I had put up for a year, maybe even more. Don’t get me wrong I can bounce back from boys, and relationships, but for me I hate the never ending cycle of letting someone in and then with a month letting them go. I have a big problem with that, and no matter how many times its happened to me, I can never get use to it or accept it.
I wish I had blogged more for you guys last year. I had many post that I essentially wrote for you guys, but ended up not posting them. That was mainly due to the fact that my computer was down, and my login to this site was messed up. Still I wish I had tried a bit harder for you guys, but I’m back, and I want some changes to be made around here. If some of you guys didn’t know I started my Youtube channel about a year now officially, and if anyone told you it was easy, they lied. Youtube for me now, other than school has been one of the biggest challenges.
I feel like it has made me doubt myself and my family and friends in many ways. Honestly, its like its just me and my videos. No one helped, and my family didn’t care nor approved of it. Some people made fun, said I was wasting my time, and I didn’t expect a lot of what happened from some people. The funny thing, somehow I knew that would be the case. As much as I do this thing on my own there are many times I feel like giving up, and quitting. Then I remember all the times my mom called me a quitter, saying I never finish anything I start. I’m not giving up, I’m going to tough it out, keep learning new things, and improve myself in ways I didn’t know mattered to me, or even cared about improving.
Last year made me acknowledge and accept the fact that I’ve been depressed before, and that I’m no longer the people person I use to be. I get crazy anxiety sometimes, and I hardly sleep, the other day I went to the doctor to get a check up, I said I had some insomnia issues and of-course my family said I didn’t (no surprise there). I honestly live for movies and TV shows, because sometimes people watch those to take their mind off things (at-least thats what I do ALOT). I don’t talk to people much about whatever problems I have or feelings, because people talk to much, and discourage people easier than it is to motivate them or help them.
I’ve been blessed for the most parts to know some amazing people, and for the past month, maybe year I feel like I’ve neglected most of the relationships I have. I’ll use to excuse as to “I’m too busy”, or “I don’t have time” but as everyone says if someones really important to you, you make time for them. So no more excuses, but a good relationship works both ways.
WHAT I’M WEARING
BLUE SCARF: WALMART
TRENCH COAT: H&M
GLASSES: WARBY PARKER
That’s all I have for this update. Until Next Time